The illusion

A number of years ago, in a pre-internet / pre-Spanish learning / pre-English teaching / pre-Madrid-living incarnation, The Real Liga watched Manchester United draw 3-3 with Barcelona at Old Trafford on TV. It was that moment, sat at home admiring the football, that for the first time in its life time team colours could be ignored, and that this blogger could take pleasure from watching teams it despised if they played good football. We're talking about Man U here.

Skip forward a few years to last night and much the same happened. The mancs use to have exclusivity on the feelings of loathing that they produced in the mind of this blogger, but that has since been transferred to Barcelona CF. Last night, however, it was impossible not to take off the sombrero and applaud the Catalans. Thank god there are no more cups for them to win this season. They have been simply remarkable this year. We could go on, but enough column inches have been filled by more insightful, witty, eulogistic prose than this blog is capable of. 

The sign of what is to come, however, is not the Madrid press dedicating pages and pages to events in Catalunya, however, but rather Florentino brilliantly undermining Barcelona's victory parade by scheduling the presentation of his presidency candidate for the very same day. You have to hand it to him - he knows how to play the game.

Today's announcement produced that word - for now we were given just the names of his fellow money makers on the board and there's still no sign of Valdano or Zidane. The motif of Florentino's presidency will be the same as the one he used last time he was in charge - ilusión.

Ilusión is one of those annoying words that language teachers annoyingly like to call false friends. Ilusión doesn't mean illusion, or misperception, or deception, but rather hope and excitement.

Whether Florentino's second stint as president is an illusion or ilusión remains to be seen. One thing that seems certain is that the project is taking shape. So much so that if El Larguero is to be believed, by Friday the club will have the marquee signing and a coach. On Monday Florentino takes over, on Tuesday Manuel Pellegrini will be installed as the new coach and on Thursday Ricky Kaká will be presented as the first new galáctico. We'll discuss both issues more if and when they really happen.

Whatever happens over the next couple of weeks, we now know full well what we are up against, and so does Florentino. Last night was a lesson in how to play football. But the question remains what is the real illusion going to be? Can Barcelona really dominate European football for the next four years, or is Florentino really going to save Real Madrid?

Let it end

Real Madrid 1-3 Mallorca

As Juanma Trueba put it in AS, Juande is responsible both for the stunningly brilliant run of 17 wins in 18 games, as much as he is responsible for the stunningly awful four consecutive defeats. Losing to Osasuna next weekend (the Navarrans need to win to stay up) will equal the unequabale string of five defeats that Carlos Queiroz orchestrated a few years back.

Everyone has given up. The Bernabéu has half empty (definitely not half full) to see the final home game of the season. The only player to emerge with any credit from this season took his haul to 21 goals before the rest of the side lay down and let Mallorca put three past them. 

Okay, so one of the goals was a freak of nature - Kleber's goal - but still. Mallorca!

The elections are already taking its toll. The rumblings of court appearances, along with presidential candidates who present their project, say that Obama started supporting Real Madrid when the club played, yes, in black, and are then forced to withdraw his candidacy are hardly helping. 

Cannavaro said goodbye to the Bernabeu. There is one week of 'football' to go. There are three before the elections happen. Let it end, and lets get on with next season. Gracias.

Transfer news update: 

CR7- Público say Florentino will announce him on Thursday, the News of the World quote him saying he'll stay at Man U

Ribery - Zidane prefers him to CR7

Van Nistelrooy - Galatasary have made an offer

David Silva - virtually guaranteed he'll swap the white of Valencia, for the er, white of Real Madrid

Who will put order to the new world?

So there is some semblance of an opposition to the Florentino bandwagon. Marca and AS have already declared their loyalties, turning on the court-appearing Calderón and in one fell swoop finding themselves face-to-face and writhing around in the bed of mutual love which implies improved-sales and no bad press for the two lovers - the madrileño press and Florentino. The last time anyone published anything remotely risqué about Florentino there were death threats, you may recall. 

Anyway, Juan Onieva is standing as candidate. As if we needed any further proof that the pool of phenomenally wealthy men from Madrid who are likely to run for president of Real Madrid is a tight-knit and corru, er, exclusive community, Onieva was Lorenzo Sanz' vice-president. 'Don't you worry about my bank guarantee,' he assured the press. Onieva says he has no problem stumping up the 55 million euros that are needed to stand for the Real Madrid presidency.

Onieva says that Hugo Sánchez will be his coach - interesting call - and that at least three squad numbers are for players who spent the year with Castilla. He's already played the cantera card - too early as far as this blogger is concerned.

With Onieva's announcement, there is now no absolutely chance that Hugo Sánchez will be the next Real Madrid coach, so let's concentrate on the hyperactive speculation that is taking place surrounding who will be Madrid's next coach. Sorry, that should be 'lets concentrate on the hyperactive speculation that is taking place surrounding who will be Florentino's choice should he win the elections'. But are we going to continue this charade for long?

AS conducted one of those surveys that makes you ponder just how many interns were ordered to tap at the vote icon for eight and a half hours? According to them, Juande is the fans favourite, with 29% of the votes 'cast'. The other candidates, along with their percentage, and a brief description of their style of play, are as follows:

29% Juande (whatever his boss tells him to do)

15% Mourinho (catenaccio), Valdano (utopian)

14% Arsene Wegner (utopian)

13 Michael Laudrup (not very good)

12% Manuel Pelegrini (passing)

2% Ancelotti (catenaccio)

The situation is this: Juande's agent has been told to hang on for a couple of weeks just in case nothing better comes up, which is a real vote of approval!; Mourinho isn't sure about it, but is probably staying at Inter; Wenger is definitely not coming; Laudrup lost his job somewhere in the Eastern Block for being rubbish a few months ago; Ancelotti is going to Chelsea; and Pelegrini is viewed as being a bit of a limp wrist when it comes to dealing with big names and big egos. Oh, and Valdano hasn't coached for ages and has preferred to read and commentate games for the last few years.

More than the question of who is the best-placed candidate of the bunch, is this question. How does Florentino want his team to play? Do these coaches have anything in common? The only thing they have in common is that they are big names. And that means one thing. Poor results come November, and it'll be no turrón for the poor soul who believed Florentino's promises of autonomy, respect and control of the transfer policy. 

Exodus

It has started. Those players who decide to timidly toe the line of political correctness and not say what they really think have already been shown up for intellectual dishonesty. Perhaps they wouldn't term it quite like that, but lying sounds a little harsh.

When clubs enter a crisis, there is always talk of a clear out. Players tend to resist this kind of speculation and defend their teammates in case the subject of their criticism ends up not being sold and then all of a sudden the two half to spend the next six months in the same dressing room.

All the same, if ever there was time for a clear out, it is now. And whether Raúl and company think it should happen or not, it's happening.

Exactly 11 years after he scored the winning goal in the Champions League final, putting Real Madrid back on the European map with the club winning their 7th European Cup, and first in nearly 30 years, Pedja 'Mafioso' Mijatovic has left the club. 

Mijatovic always pointed to the fact that under his leadership the club won two league titles, one spanish supercup, and has finished second this year. Not bad for three years work he says. Very bad say over half of Marca's online voters, who gave Mijatovic's stewardship the big thumbs down.

Perhaps his record wouldn't be 'bad' for Valencia. Or Atlético. But the 290 million euros he spent should have produced a squad that was amongst the finest in Europe. Real Madrid don't have the finest squad in Spain, and are nowhere near having it. To sum up Mijatovic as Sporting Director at Real Madrid, two players suffice. Javier Saviola and Robinho. Need we say more? Actually, yes. He had a year left on his contract. What're the chances he's left with a nice juicy payoff? High. 

Change at the top was always expected as the institutional upheaval takes casualities, but the playing staff will also be affected. Emerson, thankfully, left a long time ago, but he was the first player to arrive, along with Fabio Cannavaro. Il Bello is now leaving. 23 yellow cards and three reds later, not to mention a faded reputation (he arrived as the BEST PLAYER IN THE WORLD) Cannavaro is retuning to the club that he was quick to leave after it became clear that the corruption scandal would send down to the second division. How will the Juventus fans welcome him back?

Farewell Pedja and Fabio, it's been emotional.

Where have the points gone?

Villarreal 3-2 Real Madrid

Thank god it's all over. If ever we needed a sign that Real Madrid need to just get this year over and done with it was the sight of Iker fumbling a cross and allowing Joan Capdevila to score a late winner at the Madrigal. So Barcelona have finally won the league. This blog certainly isn't going to descend into self-righteous condemning of the arrests and incidents in the celebrations in Barcelona that seems to be the trend in the virulently right-wing Madrid press. Congratulations Barcelona, you have played great football, blah blah blah, but that's enough. While there'll be no falangist propaganda here, The Real Liga is still not-so-privately praying for Sir Ferguson to do Real Madrid a favour in Rome...

So where to now then? Is it really such a herculean task that faces Real Madrid to return to the top spot of Spanish football? 

No.

Last year Real Madrid won the league title by eight points. They ended the season a full 18 ahead of Barcelona. Everybody's favourite club Villarreal (favourite because they're from a small town, have a small ground, are financially responsible, don't actually win anything but play good football, and they didn't stand for Riquelme's crap) were sandwiched in between the Big Two, but it was a freak. Real Madrid and Barcelona have finished 1st and 2nd in varying orders for the past 5 seasons (apart from last season...)

So the difference between the two was 18 points. The Porn Star managed to win 85 points in the 07/08 season, and break lots of records on the way. Fabio Capello won the league with just 76, didn't break many records, but won the title gracias to a superior head-to-head record after drawing at the Camp Nou and beating the culés at home. This year, Pep the Prophet has so far won 86 points - one more than last year's champions mustered - and could end the season on 92. They looked at the record book and decided to break all of them. Fair enough.

The way Juande's men are playing right now, Real Madrid are unlikely to add to their current haul of 78. For argument's sake lets say Barcelona win their two remaining games and Real Madrid don't. The two forces of Spanish football will be separated by 14 points. The pessimists amongst us should remember that it is four less than the amount that the Catalans managed to claw back in just the space of one year. So it can be done.

The problem is, however, of finding the how. Up in the Federal Republic of Joan Laporta, they simply removed the man who could no longer command the respect of the dressing room (Rijkaard), offloaded a trouble maker (Ronaldinho), tried to off-load another trouble maker (Eto'o) who ended up staying and ended up being La Liga's pichichi, brought in a club favourite to coach the team (Pep) and signed a couple of quality players (notably Dani Alves). 

Madrid's main problem right now is finding the right coach. Juande has completely given up and is already looking around for where he can get his next signing-on cheque from. The usual Wenger rumours are doing the rounds but this blogger just can't see that happening. 

Whoever does come in will, naturally have vast sums to spend on the squad for the forthcom... Hold on! Florentino will be the president! That means there will be lots of money to spend, but the coach who comes in won't choose who should be bought. That's up to Florentino!

The deal for Kaká is so finalised that both AS and Marca cite the same figure - a net yearly wage of over 9 million euros for Ricky. Zizou, meanwhile, has pretty much convinced Ribery to join. Another great signing - surely nobody can argue with either of those joining the club. They are both match-winners, and will no doubt help Real Madrid at least draw level with Barcelona on the points front. But let's just hope that whoever comes in as coach gets a say in other signings, or else that gap with Barcelona might just get bigger before it gets smaller.

Looking for today

Glamour trip so soon to slip
Easy come but oh how quick it goes
Ten foot tall but what to fall
Hard to open yet so easy to close
Front page news but so abused
You just want to hide yourself away
Over-paid, but soon you fade
Because you're only looking for today
Looking for today

Looking for Today, Black Sabbath

Today's news is the following: tomorrow there will be further news that in two days time ( so thats three from now) there will be even more news, this time in the concrete form of a press conference at the Ritz. It is at this press conference, when something will actually happen, i.e. Florentino will sit in front of the assembled media and tell the World all what he is going to do to save Real Madrid. So just to recapitulate, nothing has actually happened yet, nor is it going to until Thursday.

AS are already into the business of reporting that Florentino's plans for the club will be, one of which includes building a retractable roof over the Bernabéu. What, you mean construction magnate Florentino will hire his own company with money from the club that he will be presiding to build a roof whose only purpose will be to protect the fur on the madridista señoras' coats in winter? Good to see Mr. Pérez' intention is the selfless labour of returning the club to its rightful status as Best in the World.

The press are hyping up Thursday's press conference and they are doing so with good reason - it is the only thing that remains vaguely positive about Real Madrid this season. Everybody else has given up. The soon-to-be big-wigs have already started laying out their plans. Florentino speaks to his chums at Europa Press so that the world is up-to-speed with what he'll be doing the following day at 11.43 should anyone need to know; Zidane is publicly wooing Ribery; Valdano is virtually reading off his list of who'll be staying and who won't while commentating for La Sexta; Juande and Pedja, meanwhile, have simply given up the ghost.

Boluda had a little tete a tete (that should have a couple of funny looking accents in there but this keyboard is having none of it ) with Mijatovic and Juande earlier today. The team were a disgrace against Valencia! We can't have any more of it! This club has values and traditions that MUST be respected! Any more of that and you'll be out of a job! is presumably the gist of what Boluda said to the duo, but Boluda is surely under no false impression that the meeting will have achieved anything. If he thought it would, he really is a Boluda. 

Juande, of course, couldn't give a monkeys and has simply taken to telling everybody who'll listen that Real Madrid are substandard now that it's clear the team can't win anything and that he'll be leaving pronto. First they were worse than Liverpool and Barcelona, and now after the 3-0 to Valencia they are now worse that the mob at Mestalla. 

Pedja is no doubt planning his next incarnation in the football underworld, given that his contract - with one year remaining - will be cancelled when the new regime takes over. He'll probably go back to offloading substandard players to big clubs and take his disproportionately large slice of the cake. Technically he'll carry on doing the same job then...

As for Boluda, his 'presidency' is merely a sham. He, like Calderón, is to be dragged through the courts for electoral fraud. Even if he escapes punishment he will not be involved in the club come July. By then, Florentino and company (never more appropriately worded...) will be in charge at Real Madrid, with promises that tomorrow everything will be alright. 

All hail Pep

Real Madrid 2-6 Barcelona

Madridistas around the world should be grateful for what happened on Saturday night at the Bernabéu. Celebrating a historic defeat isn't perhaps what most people thought about doing when the final whistle sounded, but the astonishing display by Barcelona highlighted what many people had conveniently forgot in recent weeks, or simply didn't want to talk about. We should thank Pep Guardiola for masterminding this lesson.

A 6-2 thrashing underlined the scale of the problem at Real Madrid. It is the second time this season that the team has been overwhelmed and embarrassed by a club that ought to be it's equal, at least. And worryingly, it happened in the two competitions that the Blancos should be disputing - the Champions League and La Liga.

In truth the 6-2 was unfair. Madrid's two goals were well taken headers from Higuaín and Sergio Ramos, but Juande's team didn't really merit two goals. By the same token, Barcelona should have hit double figures. Iker was largely to credit for them not making it 10, or 11, or 12, but we are beyond Saint Iker by now. The team was steamrolled by the creativity, imagination, finesse and pace of Barcelona.

The clásico puts the 18 match undefeated run in perspective. The draw at Atlético Madrid, sandwiched in between wins against Valencia, Villarreal, Mallorca, Osasuna, Deportivo, Numancia, Racing, Sporting, Betis, Espanyol, Athletic, Almería, Málaga, Valladolid, Recreativo, Getafe and Sevilla, means nothing. The aggregate score between Barcelona and Real Madrid this season was 8-2 in favour of the culés. Enough said.

Just as at Anfield, players were proved to be out of their depth, there was a certain naivety in the side, as if a decent local under-18s side had decided to try their luck in the adult leagues, only to be humiliated in the first game playing with the big boys.

The result hinged on timing. No sooner did Real Madrid take the lead, Barcelona not only equalised but edged in front. Just as they appeared to have weathered the storm an uncharacteristic mistake from Lass gifted Messi the third and it stayed at 3-1 for the break. Two minutes is all the Bernabéu could dream of a comeback after Sergio Ramos pulled one back, as Henry grabbed his second to make it 4-2. Messi's second was stunning, the sight of the young canterano centre back Piqué  scoring a wonderful sixth said everything about the difference between these two clubs.

Enough already. Change will come this summer, and hopefully an overhaul of the playing staff and decision makers (exit Pedja) will happen. But one final thought. The last time Barcelona taught Real Madrid a lesson at the Bernabéu happened fairly recently in the 3-0, when a majestic Ronaldinho was applauded by the home side's fans. The president sat next to the smug Joan Laporta on that evening was a certain Señor Florentino Pérez.